Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Queen of the Socks

Ah, yes! If socks were dollars, I would be wading in cash. Instead, I am knee deep in multi-coloured tootsie tubes. I’m afraid to emerge ... I know there is more, hiding, upstairs.

Little pixie socks for the toddler set,
action socks for the crime fighter,
princess socks, serious socks,
and glamourous socks for me.
You know the ones I’m talking about.
Cotton, with a delicate band of colour at the ankle?
Yes, glamour is my middle name.

I admit it. The laundry has slowly snuck up on me. Last week, while I was putting away the ‘last’ of the folded laundry I glanced at the basket in my kids room and considered putting a load on.

“No,” I thought, “not today. Today I’m taking a break from laundry.” and ‘poof’ the laundry pile multiplied, like happy bunnies on a beautiful spring day.

Now, my pile of laundry is so high that I predict I will be at the washing machine for the next twenty years. If you happen to be available for any one of my children’s graduations please let me know, if I have time I’ll send you my seat. Or perhaps I could send a clean sock to sit in my chair ... by then it should be technologically advanced enough to take pictures.

I have a dream. It’s a simple dream. Each member of the family would own two sets of stylish yet inexpensive clothes. At the end of each day they would fold the clothes lovingly and place them on a modern display shelf, next to one of those space age egg chairs. And a star burst clock. Oh, and a painting by Miro. On Wednesdays the whole family would line up with clothing set number one. They would place it in the laundry. There would be no need for baskets or separating, I would just turn the machine on and watch it go. Ah, bliss.

Now there are some of you out there who are saying, “This is crazy! Her scheme would never work.”

Ah, my gentle readers, how short sighted. A pipe dream? I think not. I having been testing my theory for a few weeks now. The girls have worn the same outfit for several days, just so I can tell them apart. All that remains is to weed out everyone else’s wardrobe. Now, if I can only figure out how to get my son to part with his Batman lounge suit.

For now, though, I think I will crouch down in the pile and get started. Perhaps I’ll place some underwear on my head as a tiara, wave my bottle of Tide and announce in my most regal voice, “the washer is free! Send in the socks!”


Kim said...

Now how do we possibly comment on this!!! I think it's time for another girl's night out. Your imagination has gone astray!!!!

Naomi said...

Hiya's one of those things. If I were closer, I'd give you a hand--you know I would!

Interesting thing, something very new to me. This year I have laundry days, days that the machines are for my use, and my use only. What this does, (though it IS two days a week) is make me DO the laundry once a week. It also has me feeling oddly like I NEED to do laundry on one of those days, otherwise I'd have no clothes (which, looking at my closet -post laundry day 3, is just plain nuts!). It makes me keep up on the laundry.

I gather the girls aren't being too messy lately if they can do same outfits for days! Hooray little ones!

Nancy said...

You know, if you wash everything together, it all eventually looks the same and it all goes together. Kind of a greyish brown. Not the most flattering colour, but it does avoid one of the tedious steps of laundry...the sorting. And if you wash everything in the same cycle it may eventually become the same size, which would avoid the post-wash sorting..... and if you leave it in the dryer long enough, you can avoid the folding because everyone would figure out where their clothes are... you know...forget queen of the socks... I'M QUEEN OF AVOIDANCE!!!!

Joel said...

Or just buy new clothes every time the laundry needs to be done!

Tiger Woods NEVER wears the same golf shirt twice!!!

Kim said...

Ben Affleck said that he doesn't wear the same underwear twice...