Excuses, Excuses

First let me say that I’m terribly sorry. The Wednesday story will have to wait until tomorrow.

I’m not too good at excuses; in fact I’m really bad at them. I’m even worse at lying … not that I haven’t tried, frequently. I was always the kid saying “I didn’t eat the chocolate cake,” with chocolate smeared up to my ears. How did I not feel it? I don’t know. Ignorance, in that case, was true bliss.

Well, what’s my excuse? My basement flooded. No, I’m not kidding. Here in the far, far north, spring is just beginning to poke her sleepy little head through the snow. Unfortunately, she became enamored of our sewage line on the way through.

Tonight was Easter Bonnet night. Earlier today I was rescued from solidifying my reputation at my daughter’s school (see: Mortgaging my Brain) by my dear friend who reminded me that tomorrow was Easter Parade Day. She also brought me her glue gun, and a bunch of Easter Eggs, a sure sign that she knew I would forget again, which of course, was absolutely certain. So, all the other tasks that I had in line for the evening, like, basking in the glow of my children’s adoration had to wait. Tonight was Easter Bonnet night.

I was walking down the basement hall with craft stuff for making the aforesaid Easter Bonnet, when I heard a swooshing sound. The thought running through my head, I’m not lying, was “boy, it sounds like my pockets are full of water.” I might have even checked. When, you might ask, was the last time that my pockets were full of water? I can’t say it has ever happened, but it is possible. Of course, that was a completely illogical thought and I quickly put it out of my mind. Notice I did not even check if there was water on, oh, let us say … the floor. My husband came downstairs about twenty minutes into the bonnet making and immediately exclaimed “Oh no! There’s water everywhere!” There was! The water started in my office and went, gasp, all the way to the toys and laundry area. You can just imagine the chaos. Would I have to wash and dry our clothes the ‘au natural’ way? Should I market my experience to reality TV? “Pioneers of the North: Watch as a modern house wife raises four children in the wild. No running water, no electricity, no laundry facilities, woman against the elements in one final battle.” I’ll keep you posted.

Truth be told, there were a few tense moments but it looks like the insurance will come through. So now we have to live all smushed together for a few weeks, which should make life interesting, but not truly bad.

Oh look. In the time that I have taken to write my excuse I could have proofed the whole segment! The time police will be after me for sure. So, please, wait until tomorrow. I’m in hiding. And as I’ve said I’m bad at excuses.