Friday, March 24, 2006

Here's $1,000,000!

Just kidding! However, here’s what I would do with my million.

Go to an expensive furniture store with my brother. Sit on all the sofas and:
  • Pretend that we are watching a sports channel. Complete with shouting,cheering and ‘channel changing’.
  • Rearrange the coffee tables so that our pretend drinks are within reach.
  • Make comments like: “Lay down on it, ‘Bob’. Stretch right out and see if it’s long enough for a good nap.”
  • Convince the salesman to take off his shoes and sit with us on a three seater sofa. Discuss the fine points of "Does it really seat three people?"
  • Purchase the most beautiful, wonderful sofa and say, "Ship it!"

Get an ice cream truck for my house. A real ice cream and gelato truck. I don’t want to gain a ton of weight though, so here’s my plan.
  • The driver of the ice cream truck would drive around the block.
  • My family and I would chase it.
  • When the truck has completed a full curcuit we can all have an ice cream.

Hire someone to do some of the household things I hate to do.
  • One person would follow my children around and say things like. “Pick that up. Don’t leave that there. Quit hitting your sister.”
  • Another person would be in charge of the bathroom. Someone comes out; they go in and clean up. They would also hand out scented towels and do foot massages.

Time share a jet plane so I could fly the whole family to such exotic locations as:
  • My brother’s backyard (wouldn’t he be surprised!)
  • A sausage festival in Germany, Lobster Dinner with Anne in PEI, and crème Brule wherever they are famous for that.
  • Anywhere there’s a theatre production I want to see. Nothing too weird. Must have good snacks. Every weekend.

A tiny, clean house out back that is very, very quiet for writing. And well-insulated. What can I say, with a million dollars I shouldn’t have to feel the cold.

So, as you can see, I would probably not make a great millionaire. However, I would have a lot of fun! Let me know what you would do!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What? Nothing for your loving husband who supports you through thick and thin? Have you forgotten the love of your life and his second passion: Golf? Surely with a million dollars you could see through the jealousy with that little white ball and treat your beau to a new set of clubs... right? Please? Honey?

Cara said...

Oh, all right, all right. How about a mini putt by the ice cream truck. But it has to have a windmill.

Anonymous said...

i like the ice cream truck running around the block idea, very imaginiative

Nico Bell said...

Here's what I do at furniture stores (you don't need any money!): I hide crouched behind a sofa, and when an unsupecting customer sits on it, I cry out "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

Cara said...

Just how high do people jump? That's a good one!