Friday, March 31, 2006

Perfect Hair Dreams

My hairdresser must cringe when she sees me coming. You ladies all know what I’m talking about. Everyone one of us, at some point, has walked into the hairdressers with a picture in our hands, held it lovingly next to our face and said, “I want my hair to look like that.” What we are really saying is, “I want my life to look like that, please Fairy Godmother, please!” Right now you guys are saying, “It’s just hair!” Oh no, you’re wrong, it’s never ‘just hair’, it’s the stuff of dreams.

Exhibit A:
Every movie involving a female’s major transformation begins with her hair having serious problems.  It is usually in tangles, long enough to be in her eyes and flying all over the place.  All is finally made right when she emerges, announced by some servant at the top of the stairs, with her hair well groomed and up in an elaborate ‘do’. The fantasy: everything works out with a simple trip to the right hairdresser.

This is clearly a ploy by the hairdresser mafia, a small, but powerful group that has been secretly ruling the world since ancient times: Revealing book to follow.

I have yet to meet a woman who likes her hair. We might have days that we think it looks alright, or moments, when it looks pretty, but it has so much hairspray a tornado could take it right off our heads and on to a cow 100 meters away, without a hair falling out of place.

What we all want, moment by moment, is gorgeous free flowing tresses. We want to rise from our beds in the morning, our hair already in place, our admirers waiting in the hallway with bated breath.

“You should see mom’s hair when she walks, it’s amazing” one slipper toed drooler would say to the other.

“Do you think we should draw on the wall?” asks the one handing out crayons.  

The oldest, would shake her head, horrified and say, “No way, mom’s hair is perfect.”

If only it could be. Until then I had better make an appointment to get my hair done. This time I think I’ll just bring a picture of a neat and tidy room and four, squeaky clean, well behaved children and see how far I get.


Bec said...

I completely agree. If my hair's short, I want it long. If long, short. If wavy, curly. And then it never curls right, so why isn't it straight? Why doesn't it have a colour? Let's all just go bald.

trace K said...

...bec, didn't you try bald?

Hair is a battle and today I'm wondering what would make it better. I'm with you in that "perfect hair from waking dream"!

BTW are the children looking for larger art canvases?

Naomi said...

Bald is fun

Today I went with spikey- and got complements all around. I think I prefer the complements to the "oh..don't you look like a chia pet!"

that's it...i'm growing it out! (hehe)

that wall wasn't under the stairs by any chance was it?

Kathy said...

Bald sounds appealing some days!! is a curse! Trying to perfect the tresses jus wastes too much time; you can never have a minute alone to fuss with it (at least as a mom it seems that way);it never looks the way you imagine it should...and, well you get the picture!

Joel said...

Sorry ladies... I can safely say, I thank God that I don't have to worry about my hair. Thanks to current customs in Canada, I can keep my hair ultra short thanks to my handy pair of clippers (I paid $25 back in 2001) and have saved my net worth quite a bit of money (figuring at least $15 a month, for 5 years, that clipper has saved me $900). Sure, I look like a chia pet, but that is okay for guys! Sorry about your misfortunes, but I revel in my fortunes! ;)